Drizzy Drake and the Rise of the Emo Thug
“I’m more than just an option . . . whine whine whine . . . I’m just sayin’ you could do better . . . whine whine whine . . . [insert any lyric from "Karaoke"] . . . whine whine whine . . . “ – Drake on any number of his most popular songs
Men have a lot to thank Drake for (either now or later). He single handled brought nasally rapping back into the forefront (you’re welcome Big (little) Sean; and yes, I’m aware that people say Drake bit Sean’s style, but, umm, Drake made it cool #pow), he made it cool to rock a unibrow (Joe Jonas, I’m looking at you) and he almost, almost, brought light skinned back. Almost. But the one thing I will never, ever be able to thank Drake for is the rise of the Emo-Thug. Drake single-handedly made an entire career out of doing exactly what the hell most people can’t stand Kanye West for. Bitching, pissing and moaning. But for whatever reason the fact that he did it with smooth vocals over a catchy beat and not over Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech it made it OK. And now, we’ve got a world full of men emoting left and right and girls dropping their panties for them because they’re showing their softer side.
Sensitive thugs they all need hugs.
It seems that lately I’ve encountered more men then a little bit who got all into their feelings over a whole bunch of nothing. Let’s talk about Denny, who, or as long as I’ve known him, has always been in his feelings. He’s done everything from cut off communication because I didn’t call him on his birthday (because he told me never to talk to him again) to have a pity party because my biting sense of humor hurt his feelings. I have cut off all communication with him and the one thing I won’t miss (among many) was his overly sensitive nature for a guy.
We can also talk about the Rivershark, a minor league baseball player I started dating in May. Almost from the beginning our entire existence was one angst filled conversation (on his end, not mine) after another. There was the time when I didn’t hear from him for nearly a week after our second date. When I did hear from him it turned into a three to four hour conversation (no lie, D-Magic was there) about how he liked me so much and he was feeling me but didn’t want to hurt my feelings because he was leaving at the end of the season and blah blah blah blah blah. Dude. We went on two dates. Usually the third date is the deciding factor of whether or not I want to continue to deal with you. We aren’t there and you’re already waxing poetic about breaking my heart. Truthfully, I should have known then that he wouldn’t last the entire baseball season. But I tried again. And got more of his emo crap. This time it came when I politely (or not so politely, as it was) told him how I felt about his penchant to cancel dates just an hour or two before we had plans. He waxed poetic for hours (via text, no less!) about how he felt like I felt that we were in a relationship and it was stressing him and blah blah blah. Sir, if you were my friend and you kept canceling on me I would have let you have it. It has nothing to do with being in a relationship and everything to do with respecting my time. Needless to say, things didn’t work out and he’s finishing baseball season dateless and in a pitching slump.
Or, let’s talk about the relentless barrage of emo tweets and facebook status’ I encounter on a daily, no hourly, basis. Everything from grown men quoting Single Ladies (I don’t even watch that show and I know what the heck Stacy Dash told that man) to professing on a daily basis that “nobody loves them and everybody hates them.” I’ve seen statuses run the gamut. “I’m a good dude, why does ish happen to me?” seems to be the most popular emo thug status/tweet in the last two weeks. Side Note: For the record, most of the guys posting that are the exact opposite of good dudes and deserve every bit of shi-tay karma that is being directed their way. And don’t even get me started about how one of the authors on one of my most favorite blogs went emo thug on us for an ENTIRE week (the week of July 25 in case you’re wondering)!
But here’s the thing. For centuries we’ve established that women are sensitive and emotional creatures. I mean really, it’s a fact. Right up there with 1 + 1 = 2 and the sky being blue. In my relationships, there is only room for one emo thug, and as a woman, by default, I get to be it. What is we gon’ do with two of us emoting all over the place? In my relationships I want a man to be a man. When I come to you with a problem, I want a solution, I don’t want you over analyzing with me. I don’t have room for your dramatics because I have enough of my own! I’m not saying I want my guy to be all caveman and pulling me by my hair #pause. But, if we’re watching The Lion King and he’s the one crying when Mufasa dies then Houston, we’ve got a problem! Seriously, we’ve got men running around here acting more like a female than females do. And it has GOT to stop!
So guys, what do you think? Am I being to hard on Drizzy Drake and his emo thug following? Fellas, do you want to defend your right to get all emo thug up in here? And ladies, how are you dealing with the emo thugs in your life? Because, my response to straight ignore them. And, maybe that’s not exactly working.
Signed,
I’m Just Sayin’ I Can Do Better Barbie (#seewhatididthere)
PS – and yes, I’m going to totally ignore the fact that I haven’t blogged in months. You’ll get over it. Stop being so emo.
In my ever-so-humble opinion, Drake’s not really having feelings that men haven’t had for generations. He’s just telling y’all about it more. I think as a society we may have taken the whole #nohome #pause thing to far. I had a dude that is almost like an actual brother to me (he’s frat, but not just because i made him and all) tell me that saying ttyl was gay. I was like 1) talk to you later?! Should i just grunt at the end of the convo and drop the laptop? 2) he knows I don’t have to #pause because he was one of the few people i was honest about my it All Fell Down for me last year (see what I did there quoting Kayne? lol).
But seriously, Drake’s definitely emo-ing a lot more than he used to. And a lot more than I do on a daily basis to 99.9% of the people I interact with. But if I said I couldn’t relate to anything he says because he’s soft, well, I’d just be lying. Men have feelings in relationships, and occasionally we get in them. No, your dude should probably never be in his more than your in yours, but isn’t it a little unfair to suggest that he should never be hurt by anything you say/do? It’s human nature, and just like he has to watch out for yours, you should occasionally watch out for his. If neither one of you is willing to do that, what’s the point of being together?
Besides, would it better if he kept it all in and bailed at the end?
To me, double-standards aren’t cool when either gender does it. You talked about your twitter/FB timelines/newsfeeds being filled with emo-statuses. Mine are filled with “men ain’t ish,” women telling me what a real man is supposed to do (sorry, but I CAN’T STAND THAT. I love my Mom dearly, but I learned to be man from FATHER), and a COTTAGE INDUSTRY of “it wasn’t your fault. you deserve better” accounts that doesn’t exist for men. I’m just waiting for the day when I see a young woman tweet that “you know, maybe i wasn’t ready yet.” Or “maybe my stuff wasn’t completely together yet.” I won’t hold my breath though.
As for guys, you won’t know if most men are going through a break-up unless you’re really friends with them because they’re going to pretend their fine. I might listen to a Drake song so much that I can’t take it anymore (I’m confirming or denying I’ve done that [read: July]), but read my statuses from last summer. Then read my blog. I was FRONTIN’ like a mug. But I never mentioned the break-up one time in anything I considered public. Had to keep appearances up.
But what do I know? I may be an emo-thug and don’t even know it lol. Because these days, having any feeling at all is problematic if you have a penis. Until you don’t have any feelings, then THAT’s the problem lol.
I know that’s a lot more than 2 cents, but this was a thought provoking post as always dear
S Dot Lyphe said this on August 3, 2011 at 12:31 pm |
Im glad I could provoke some thoughts. It, after all, why I write. And just to be clear, I don’t actually think all men are emo thugs or that there is anything wrong with a guy having feelings. I want my guy to HAVE feelings; I just don’t want him to be IN them all the damn time.
And using drake was clearly for illustrative purposes because I am the first one to pop in some drizzy when I’m left feeling some type of way. I guess I just wish there was more of a balance in the emo-thuggin. I totally understand that men get hurt and need to emote just like women do. I just feel like lately they’ve been doing it all the time. I mean at a certain point enough with the whining (male and female).
I also see your point about the “men ain’t ish” tweets and sistagirlfriendyoucandobetter twitter feeds. It’s a lot. And you’re right. So let me be the first woman to say, “you know what? I could have done some things differently.” I’ll own that. Now, get your emo-thuggin brethren to get on facebook and admit they brought some of this bad ish upon themselves. (thank you in advance #seewhatididthere)
I think you make some valid points and I will take then under advisement the next time the man I’m dealing with is emoting a little more than I’m used to. But seriously, Drake can stop with all the whining. #imjustsayin
countryclubbarbie said this on August 3, 2011 at 12:47 pm |
haha, we all can agree Drake should stop whining. He’s at his best when he mixes it up. For every “Sooner Or Later” on So Far Gone, there was an “Uptown.” Marvin’s Room was by far the most emo song he’s every done, but I’m gonna wait til I hear the album before I say there’s not another “Best I Ever Had” on there. He usually mixes the triumphant with the sadness.
And I’ll work on getting some fellas to admit they messed up good things. Lord knows, I have and probably will again (though hopefully not. I’m trying to #win one of these here times! lol). See, I can own stuff too. If more of us all did that, we’d be much better off!
S Dot Lyphe said this on August 3, 2011 at 12:57 pm |
The reason for so many ,”Men gone Soft”, is because there are too many single Mother raising these men. And” its not just that they are single mothers they are 16,17, 18 year old young women raising Men. The masculinity is being diminished by women raising men. Not to say its a terrible thing to be raised by a woman, but when a woman decides that she doesn’t need a man in her to help mold her sons life it becomes, I will as a female raise a man to completely respectful of women and to hug and care about them, make sure they don’t get hurt so on and so forth. The issues arise more when the child grows into their personality. She can’t mold a man because she is not one. She doesn’t know a man develops through the troubles they face the cruelty the see in others and how alone men are without someone to show them the haarshness of the world. They don’t understand that little bit is an important lesson to any male on earth. A woman is the protector of children she is going to keep harm away from her child as long as she lives. A father is going to take his son to hunt at age 6, be it sports oriented, or educational. The masculinity of this current generation is under fire due to the troubles of the past. Skinny jeans, funny hair and emotional males is what you reap in art, music, and fashion when an entire generation is raised mostly by women. Its what we plan to do about this paradime shift in the future is what worries me. Men not acting like men is a real issue. Let’s see how this turns out. #eyes peeled
Jeraine said this on August 3, 2011 at 1:02 pm |