Computer Love
“Digital, digital get down just you and me / (You may be) Twenty thousand miles away but I can see ya / And baby, baby you can see me / Digital, digital get down just what we need / We can get together naturally / (We can) We can get together on the digital screen” – N*Sync, “Digital Get Down”
Lately, I’ve been contemplating doing the online dating thing. I figure that I can start small (and free!) and then, depending on how that goes, graduate to a paid site like E-Harmony. I know what you’re thinking because I’m thinking it too.
OK, first, let’s take out the safety factor. I know, I know – there are crazies out there. But let’s face it. You could meet a crazy walking down the street, riding on the bus or eating at the diner . . . . Need I remind you of the 3.5? And let’s go ahead and take out the jerk factor as well. Yes, I’m sure that on some sites there are some men who are married or in committed relationships that are online looking for a good time. But, those same guys are in the bar, at the club or in the mall. So safety and creep factor aside, I’m still fifty-fifty on this thing.
I’ve got more than two hands worth of friends who are doing it. And no, if everybody were jumping off a bridge I wouldn’t do it too. But this is kind different. And, for every horror-story that I hear about a date gone wrong, I have a friend who landed a solid, long-term, committed relationship. All things considered, I’d say that my online dating friends are batting the same average as my traditional dating gal pals.
So, with that being said, why am I still straddling the fence?
One sistagirlfriend brought up a good point. She wonders about the types of black men I might find on there. Are they going to be the ones who can’t find a date? Or the players? The truth is that I have no idea. But I kind of feel her. I wonder (because I have no actual evidence) if there is a stigma in the black community attached to dating online? If the only black women who are supposed to date online are the ones with four degrees and in their early forties. I’m just wondering, because usually, when I mention online dating to my black girlfriends they give me a funny look. At least the ones in my immediate age range. My older girlfriends, like Diva B, hardly bat an eyelash.
On the other hand, I’m not necessarily looking for a black man. BREATHE! I’m not saying I do not want a black man. Just that I’m open to other men. I’m not even sure I’m looking for something serious. I’m just looking. Being nosy if you will. Not in a desperate type of way. Just opening myself up to other possibilities.
After all, we live in a digital world. I spend more time in the office and on my blackberry than I do sleeping. Think about that. I outsource everything else in my life – dry cleaning, house cleaning (shut up!) – and conduct all the business of life on my computer – payments for my mortgage, insurance, cable, cell phone, etc. So why not conduct my dating business online as well? In the digital age it makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?
But see, right at this point where I get all rah rah rah about dating online, a little thought creeps in my head. Does online dating make me desperate? I do not think it does – but maybe it does. Do desperate people know they’re desperate? I know lots of people who have had success. Do you think I could?
Oh LORD, I feel a complex coming on.
So dear readers, what do you think? Should I go ahead and give it a try? What have I got to lose? And have you done it? What’s the worst that can happen? Actually wait . . . . don’t answer that. Let’s not take it all the way there. I know the world is a dangerous place. But really, the people I meet couldn’t be any worse than the ones I’ve managed to meet on my own, right? Shoot, they could be lots better.
You know the deal – weigh in below.
Signed,
Wondering if I Should Digitally Get Down Barbie
First of all, looove the nsync lyrics. I used to play that song everyday. Secondly, I think you should go for it. I have a free profile on E-harmony..I’ve actually had it for a while now, but something is holding me back from paying for the membership. Maybe it’s fear..or unemployment. Anyway, I think it’s worth a shot!!! Do it, do it, do it…..
Candice said this on March 16, 2009 at 4:21 pm |
Yes, you should give it a try. No, there’s nothing wrong with it. No, you aren’t desperate. Yes, you may meet all types of characters but as you pointed out, you meet characters everywhere. I met my first boyfriend on match.com and we dated for 2 years (he just happened to live in the dorm across the street..this was before online dating was as socially acceptable as it is now…so we consoled ourselves with the fact that we could have very well met in person somewhere…see, I’d call that desperate, not you!). Anyone who knocks you, give em the “whateva” shrug and get back to doing you. xoxo.
Sara said this on March 16, 2009 at 7:19 pm |
Go for it. It’s not desperate, it’s just another way of meeting people. I wouldn’t keep it the exclusive, only way you’re willing to meet new guys though. But, I’ve done it on and off… and if nothing else, I’ve walked away with a bunch of good stories. However, I thought e-harmony was complete crap. I like the sights where you can go looking “on your own”.
Gina said this on March 17, 2009 at 1:10 am |
Err… sites, is what I meant.
Gina said this on March 17, 2009 at 1:11 am |
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